Forgiveness

Is forgiveness something that must be earned not just given? That is where we are wrong. Does the father not forgive us by our asking. Sometimes its the hardest thing to say or do when someone has hurt us. I have heard a song called "forgiveness" by Matthew West, its from where a lady forgave the drunk driver that took her little girl's life. If she can do that why is it so hard for us to forgive with much smaller things. Just a few days ago I have finally told my ex-wife that I forgave her for everything she has done in the past. After that it felt like some weight had been lifted off of me. We don't know what could be holding us down, but if someone needs to be forgiven that would be a start.